an open responce to a privet quarry(sp?)

I can only think of 2 things to write right now

1) w bush is proof we have lost democracy to the bureaucrats.





2) i was told that god is infinite love. the world has pain and sorrow in it, therefor maybe the world is shielded from god in some way. makes some sort of twisted sense.
***Blasphemy alert****
if you think about it the Catholic god wants you to be obedient and subservient. and to spend your eternity in the praise of him. But supposedly we are his creations and he has given us the amazing ability to question, as well as the need we all feel to create (and destroy).
Our creative drives; and our destructive drives; have the ability to fill and charge us. To make your life seem to make sense while caught up in the midst of it. And these are the very drives that are to be sublimated and repressed in order to gain some treat from our maker?
well maybe if god is stupid. but it sounds like Frigidaire saying it holds a special “prize” for all the fridges it built that can stay room temperature regardless of voltage and freon levels.
I create and I destroy. And those are the only 2 times when i feel truly ok with myself. the only times i feel “alive”. the only times i don't feel awkward and out of place.
IF i was created by some thing with reason and logic, then it would make sense that the traits i was designed for are the ones i naturally display. this be good and obedient crap is absolutely against my hard wired functions. so if god were blocked from seeing me, and thus this world is ruled by a devil, then i could kinda understand the promise of eternal life given to the simple obedient ones, because the promise is a lie.


or maybe not, but i am sure about the first thing.

truth?

question: define truth
Is it not the antonym of lies
if when confronted a person considers speaking a falsehood and the reconsiders and does not; we could not fault him for lying. thus a lie must be spoken to be.
if truth is the antonym of lies, and a lie must be spoken to be; then truth must remain silent to be.
question: define truth.
answer: impossible.

sadistic??

Opinion Polls & Market Research

social transaction?

This unfortunate 40’something man wades in to the store with a small radio playing scratchily from his frumpy coat. The radio is a new touch but this guy wanders through the store almost every day. I turn to a co-worker and whisper how this guy gives me the creeps. I don’t intend to be rude but I seriously fell my fight or flight reflexes kicking in when I see people like this. He has meandered past my till with his face half stained the unmistakable colour of vegetable soup. His hair is always a messy mop awkwardly piled in various clumps. I don’t recall having ever actually seen sticks in it, but it wouldn’t surprise. He’s not actually dirty though, just un-kept. He has those blank eyes of one who instead of really thinking is drawn from place to place by emotional spasms. Today thankfully there was no soup stain on his face; but he had stuff stuck in his crooked teeth, that added a terrifying effect to his big dumb grin.

As if to punish me for my honesty, the co-worker replies that this fully horrifying life lives in a government home near by.

My mind is flooded with images. They are unemployable, hence they spend much of there days alone rejected from society. Staying in the ‘home’ day after day week after week, Year after YEAR; they need some outside stimulation. They wander through shopping centers. Gaining the so much needed human interaction in the short time it takes to complete there meaningless transactions.

“Hello how are you today?-is this every thing?” I have Miranda syndrome. I’ve said these words so many times today they have no meaning.

He’s buying a piece of crap plastic coffee mug that’s even overpriced at our store. He can’t pick up on the subtle clues I sometimes give to the old ladies who are about to make bad shopping choices.

He’s saying something similar to having a good day or something. I avoid looking at him in any way. I know the revulsion is to help me from feeling the helpless sorrow. I don’t have the time or mental fortitude to befriend him and alleviate some of his loneliness. I doubt I would if I did. Am I a horrible person?

“Well thank you and have a pleasant evening”

The static-y little radio accompanies him out side.

The fight or flight feeling and revulsion subside, leaving me with the dull anger that this is the world. And the type of moot sorrow we feel after seeing starving children and abused animals on television commercials.

“Hello, how are you today?-is this every thing?” ….

daily quotes

I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones.

This is a quote from non other than Albert Einstein. It’s a well known quote, and often heard.

On my homepage I have Einstein quotes of the day. It’s a cute little app. and I like to think it keeps me thinking. I’d like to add a Steven Hawking one but I haven’t found one yet. Today when I opened my browser and saw this little axiom I thought nothing of it. Then I read it again. And again. Some thing was wrong. I just couldn’t put my finger on what it was.

Then I realised it was the “WW IV” thing. Einstein knows better than to portray conjecture as fact. I mean he was one of the smartest people we as a species have had the pleasure of learning from.

But that wasn’t it either, something else was bothering me about this so common quip. How could he possibly believe that WW4 would be fought with stones? Its understandable that he was trying to hammer home the power of nuclear weapons… wait that was it.

He was certain that we as a people would have another world war. That nukes would be used, and we still wouldn’t learn. He was certain that we would not be able to maintain our collective saintly and refrain from destroying ourselves, and worse yet, that before we were able to even rebuild we would have yet a 4^th. It was the way he was stating the nature of man, not the nature of war.

Creepy

I also have “Bush-isims” on my homepage, it was some thing about evildoers wageing war at the whim of a hat.

Very Creepy

Sweet dreams yall

the beginings of an idea, this will definatly be a later rant.

In the 70’s and 80’s the fashion industry was targeted by women’s liberation groups for being controlling, oppressive, and sexist. The fashion industry responded to the charges, with maxim magazine. Every year now fashion is more and more invasive in “male culture”.

This is called progress.

The blacks of the United States were denied votes, Admissions to “good” schools and healthcare institutions. The american Indian are segregated. Many reserves still have inadequate sanitary systems. In fact it would be hard to distinguish between a modern reserve and a third world refugee camp.

The inner cities are receiving less and less help; are becoming economically dissolute.

“Jobs” are the call of the masses as the divide between needs and means increases.

It is important to remember that the racist oppressions served governments far less than they served large manufacturers. The plantation owners lost much more by freeing the slaves than the politicians did.

The current trends are moving more and more towards “indiscriminate oppression”. This makes sense. It is defiantly easer to maintain control of a group if the group is hard to define. The 1970’s, “gives women a poor body image”, claims from the woman’s lib. movement sound oddly quaint after viewing a CK underwear add. Now the attempts to solve the body image problems are worsened. Instead of doubling their opposition, the fashion industry divided it. Both men and woman may now develop a negative body image now, but it leads to decidedly different outcomes. Males are more likely to use steroids than become anorexic. As well as the line of who is an oppressor and who is oppressed has blurred beyond simple definitions. No longer is the fashion industry predominantly male and the customer predominantly female. Now males and females are dispersed across both lines.

This is called equality, and it too is known as progress.

How does the fashion industry continue to force its notions on the public? I mean aren’t we free to chose to ware what ever we want? If its making us feel bad about ourselves are we not free to just stop buying and force their bankruptcies?

In the most basic answer is of course. Unfortunately basic thinking is wrong. As long as we as a people judge one another on appearance; (and it seems as long as sex is a primal urge we will) then one who buys in to the industry will elevate them selves. It would take all of us, enemas to turn away and as a whole refuse to be a part of it. I don’t see it happening any time soon.

It is important to also note that by socialism, I do not mean Marxism or Stalinism or Leninism or Maoism or even communism. I do mean a social collective of the populous. Democracy was/ is a socialist ideal.

Is it sexist, if I really appreciate when she makes the side dishes?

I think the reason I will never be married, is if I spend a large amount of time with one person, I find other sides of my personality moaning of starvation. I’m sure that if I was a truly well rounded person, I wouldn’t find this kind of nagging emptiness.
I hate Edmonton! Before I moved here I had a circle of friends that allowed me to exercise many parts of my personality, I had a girlfriend who if not ecstatic, was resigned to a partitioned time segment. I did miss my family. But I had resolved to never move back to Lethbridge, so the longing I felt for my family I was able to chalk up to the bitter sweet, pain of being my own man. As if I had won and earned the feeling and it ought to be worn proudly as a battle scar.
But now my family has moved to Edmonton, so I get to see them more often. This however is tampered with the more severe (because it has to be kept secret) pain of not having much of a life to share with them. When we are together, I feel I have nothing to contribute, and fall in to the role of late night talk show host. I come in tell a few jokes, and then interview others to feel as though we were having a conversation. Thank god for my brother whose unabashed desire to be the center of attention, draws all the focus. So we as a family can all feel we have done something together, by laughing at /with Sonny.
If I ever do marry, it will surly be so that I’m not saddled with the chore of trying to feed myself each and every evening. Seriously, it might be worth it to not have to decide on something tasty, affordable, easy to make, And Different! Each and every day. I have that pesky belief in equality, that would make it so I’d have to go through this “devils triangle” every other night. But still 50% freedom from this chore is worth the cost of a ring.
Every one goes through this eventually; hence Moorse makes money renting tuxes.
What ever his reasons were, my best friend was starting to make this decision. And his cute unassuming nefarious tart, was having a real problem with his own exercising of other areas of his personality. Hilarity ensued. No seriously, if loosing my best friend to her manipulation and out and out attacks didn’t hurt so much, the battles would have been comical.
Being as how I’m slow to warm to new people, (or it takes them a while to figure out it’s just a joke), I have found myself spending most of my time with one person. Exclusively. I am a little short on people to “round my self out” with so instead of actively pursuing other interests and fields; I retreat back to this one person. And she great, I’m not complaining about that. I’m just stating that the other sides of me are screaming for food.
I refuse to believe that returning to school was a mistake, therefore it must be moving to Edmonton. Or; I just had this thought; it could be that I’ve just stayed too long. I haven’t stayed in the same place for longer than 2 years since I moved out from my moms. And I’ve been in Ed for 3 and a half. Well there’s a new superstition for me to test.
So now I’m deciding on returning to Saskatoon to continue my schooling, or to try some ware new.
If I go some ware new, I may develop problems at the 2 year mark, which isn’t good, considering I’m taking a 7 year degree. If I return to Saskatoon, I know things wont be quite the same, as well as I may have worn out my 2 years there, And it has the whole going backwards thing, unless going here was the mistake then its not going backward its correcting (like someone ought to do to this run-on sentence).
I have other reasons for leaving Edmonton. Pragmatic ones like the cost of living and such. So what do you think I should do?

a reveiw, sorta

It’s so much easier to believe that its just me, when its inside my own head.
Now it may just be that im reading the sane society right now. But its getting to the point that every ware I look people are saying there’s something wrong with our world.
Blue man groups megastar 2.0 that I saw last night didn’t even try to mask the message that modern life is sick, from the “I saw my self on a bathroom door today” to the standardisation of audience participation in our entertainment venues, The show was an entertaining barrage of contemporary life is not life.
The opening act, mike relm, seemed to be the only part of the show that was Ok with life. I’m not disappointed, only concerned that the celebration of life that art was trying to use as a counter attack to the machine lifestyle, is gone. We are left with the message being stated as clear as possible that things are broken. But it seems the artists are no longer wanting to guide others, they are more concerned with prodding the unmoving. That’s not how we were going to fix this thing. The plan WAS, we are going to have a good time, and that will entice others to come and see what a joy the world could be. It seems now we are trying to begin a motion from the inert. I’ve seen this happen to many of the “road signs”. From adbusters complete withdrawal of all peaceful prototypes of the future, to all the rock bands doing overtly political songs. We can not lead the world to a saner, happier place using fear. Fear is the enemies tool. The adage is you can lead a horse to water but you cant make him drink, while you cant get the horse to go any ware if you just yell the waters dirty in your pen. Horses can’t understand much English as well as they are unable to open the gate them selves. We need only to open the gate and enjoy the field ourselves. That will be enough to bring the horses out.

If your life is not a joy, why would any want to be like you?
1 decide you will not obey needlessly
2 enjoy your life
3 repeat as conspicuously as necessary.

It was stll an entertaining show and I do recommend going to see blue man group if you have the opportunity. And especially go see mike relm!

the chicken and the egg

Ok the concept of which came first, of 2 things is not original. We more and more often these days, find our selves trying to decide between cause and effect. Now this probably speaks to the fact that we have lost control over our own creations, and thus our world. People who notice these things tend to think of them selves as "thinkers". So they go off on there diatribes, believing blindly that they have increased the intellectual pool of information on -whatever. But these morons keep using the phrase "what came first, the chicken or the egg". As if there is no other way to describe the very common occurrence of any cyclic phenomenon. Even the slightest change to the “lizard or the egg” would show that at least they have vested some thought in there work. So in my attempt to have a different cliché used and thus ever so slightly increase the variety and readability of the blogs and reports I read; the answer is obviously the chicken.
Chicken eggs need to be incubated. If you believe in creation then, god must of made the chicken and the cock first otherwise the egg would of not been incubated. Ending this stupid saying right there in the Garden of Eden. If you believe in evolution, then you know that from a primordial ooze life sprang forth and slowly altered its self in to various species, thus several creatures came before the chicken. And what ever creature laid the egg that the first creature we officially call a chicken came from was not a chicken ant there for the egg it laid was a mutated chAcken egg. Or what ever.
If the saying was lizard or the egg, we would have a bit more of a conundrum. Because, not all lizards require active incubating on behalf of the mother, there are other options. But ill leave you to use your deductive reasoning on which was obviously first in that case.

the former, but stil vacant Hall

I occasion to wit when I find my self bordering the uncouth, so that humour may mask my foible.
I hold you in esteem for possessing a whit of wits. And as such it ought to be tacit that maintaining tact be paramount.


I should never endeavour to name someone of your intellectual economy any thing so pedestrian as simple, for that is much too obtuse to be adequate descriptions of your so very precise faculties.

However verbosely effusive this may be, I find it tantamount to berating a shrubbery. I reserve the luxury of chronological homicide to be expelled at my fetish. And in such require your absence.

A moment of humility

There was a time when I thought life had meaning... How could I have been so naive?Its ok to laugh at me. I guess. It is kind of funny; like believing in the Easter bunny or the tooth fairy, or that you can make a difference in the world, or that your vote counts...I guess this too must now live in my past.
it is kind of sad to think
that all that was magical must live in the past, unretrievable.
if the current trend continues, it seems that all that gave me comfort and happiness will eventually slip in to that most permanent prison. I almost believe it will, but then again...
there was this time I thought life had meaning, so I can obviously be very naive-

is that a fact? a brife mention of the state of reality

Life is expression, fact is merely a recording.
Thus facts are as relevant as a photograph of a tree while making supper.

To clarify these statements I’d have to subject my self to a degree of boredom that could only find its equivalent in trying to teach a stone elementary math. I wish not to undertake such an emotionally painful task.
And because these things are fact, they are irrelevant. Thus my understanding of them is only as worth while as the pleasure that they can enlighten on my face.

The relevance of fact is the central lie in the oppression of the self.

I believe that oppression is painful, and an unwelcome expression. Thus I reject the lie of your truths in favour of my enjoyment.
Fact; facts are false.
Proven

Facts are derived buy scientific method. That is to say, facts are the observed results of experimentation. Observations are made from phenomena and then recorded, (written down ect.). From my own experience of being me, I can not actually prove the existence of another. I have proven that my eyes, my ears, my smell, my touch, and my taste can all be tricked, and so are unreliable as to a definitive proof. My emotions however, have never proven to be untrue. At the most they have proven to be impermanent. Thus I must conclude logically, that my emotions are of more reliability than that of any other stimuli. Or at least are more difficult to be detected as false. With no other information to base my decisions on I must deduce that my emotions are more factual than more conventionally defined facts.

Science now must face the same type of criticisms that religion faces in the face of theories of equal debatable arguments. for science and religion both use un-provable and un-testable theory’s to attempt to explain the world in which we appear to be living. Using science to disprove fact creates the above rant as a viable scientific theory; I don’t expect the institutions of science to accept defeat any more than the Catholic Church accepted defeat in the face of Darwin. So I issue this challenge: using any logical means disprove the Sincontroll first theory that fact is false. Using a previous definition such as a dictionary is unacceptable because repeating false information in no way alters the fact of it being false information.

lemme alone on the buss

This disassociation of a social inept mind from a morally inept society leading to an aggravated situation predisposed to violence.
Or, What I meant by “Fuck Off Ass-hole”.

Although you feel me rude for ignoring you, I feel that your interruption is of the grater harm. I am confined to live only my life and thus so, my feelings will always trump yours in all maters where the two don’t coincide.
I feel it important to remind you that you, yourself, instigated this interaction.
It was your choices and actions that led to this preface to an altercation.
So the onus is also yours as to weather you shall console your wounded pride with self deception with out my company or rather to consume more of my limited time with your invasion of my space.
But be not deceived, I consider all invasions violent acts.
As violence and war very only in scope and the surest way to maintain a victory in war is the complete annihilation of your opponent, and as I have previously stated, my feelings will always trump yours, I will act in a way that is in my best interest for self survival.
I am sure if properly motivated you could have formulated the before mentioned thoughts for your self.
I, as man, can not be indited for neither the acts of God (nature) nor his (its) omissions.
It seems some how, weather by evolution or design you have failed at this arrangement.
Your inability to ascertain your situation of danger and to in the best interest of survival govern your self, leaves your death as either ordained by God or a simple matter of the species as a whole needing to rid its self of your impertinence and stupidity.

(Must I have other reasons not to be interrupted while I'm fucking reading?)

christmass tuens

Christmas eve; I’m sitting listening to my moms play list on her puter.

I’m afraid of Americans – David Bowie
Well no shit we should all be now! It seems that the USA has forgotten that the world is not just a non-voting state.
Yes just what you’d expect from a leftist, I'm going to bitch about Bush! Ya so I’m not original, but what can I do?
This is not America – David Bowie
Ya, I know and there in lies the problem, we are living in a world where the majority of people are not in the USA and thus have no vote. While the USA forces its ideals and wants on the whole planet. Simple fact the planet is now only a democracy for Californian Neo-Cons. The rest of us, while we just have to learn to deal with it.
The immigrant song – Led Zeppelin
AHHH AHH AHH AAA, ya that about sums up how I feel
Bittersweet symphony of life – The Verve
I can’t change but I’m here in my “mould” as the world seems to rot away from logic love and life I’m wondering what ever happened to the Christian Left? We’ve herd from the Christian Right enough. Did the neo-cons finally steal Christ away from the rest of us?

Merry Christmas And my god bless all the non-neo-cons!

more than "they" are offering

Ok I've herd this term Way the FUCK too much:

All of the political party’s seem to have to finish there speeches and offerings to the public with “although it’s not what you want its more than [other party] is offering.”

What the hell is that? In Canadian politics we don’t even get to choose between the devil you know or the devil you don’t, we are Arbitrarily told that some kind of compromise between what we the voting public actually want and what {who?*ill get back to this} is an option to vote for??

ARRRRGGGG

Who do politicians want to be?
Well it seems they want to be the same fucking spineless side less blob.
I Have the most conservative Liberal running against the most liberal Conservative and the new democrat party ‘being the second oldest federal party” saying well maybe we can get some seats!

I saw a list on line of the party’s and there stances on various issues and not looking to which party was saying what, the only party that has researched and answered each of the issues was the GREEN party, yes Canada, you now live in a country where the most initiative can be found by the pot-heads. Ndp, no mention of foreign policy, torrys had no mention of school funding. The grits had no mention of the environment. No just the happy high hippies have actually taken the time to get a totally well rounded platform.
Theirs not even one running in my riding so I'm basically stuck looking at which slant on the center I can put my x. I Think I finally under stand voter apathy. It’s actually Voter depression.

Back to this *WHO* ? Just who the fuck are the parties trying to compromise with. Harpers one e senate, its more than the grits offer! His plan? Let the provinces vote then he as a benevolent leader would agree with the results, just him not make it law or any thing just he’d be that nice to us! What a guy. Took a good idea and made it in to a nothing promise so that he might get a bit bigger of the political middle ground away from some one else.
MY VOTE?
Well I’m at the point to buy my self a bunch of unregistered shot guns and a couple of illegal and soon to be outlawed as well{?} hand guns. I’m going to sew a maple nut on my back pack and declare my self my own government. Don’t worry about the guns though because I can see by the maple nut sewed on your sleeve your armed too so well be real polite to each other!

proof the world is crazy

A brief rant about blogs

Its odd if you think about it; the levels of exhibitionism and ego that go in to a blog. It’s like a diary that you leave out for others to read. And as we hammer away on our keyboards we honestly believe in some part of our mind that some one will read it and then we imagine that our words will actually move some one.
Think about the last time you went blog surfing. No I mean after the first week you started your own. Exactly. And even then were you actually moved by any thing any one said?
Hay its ok; no seriously I'm imagining some one reading this too. So we are all in the same boat. Just sending our thoughts out in to the abyss with little to no chance of it being received.
It’s a message in a bottle set afloat on the ocean during a hurricane with nothing really important written on the parchment.
But our egos fuck with our minds, and we do this. I think it must be as form of therapy saying what we think to the faceless masses that aren’t listening.

Odd if you think that should I be the victim of a homicide some poor police man will have to read through all this crap to see if maybe theirs a hint at the psycho that offed me. If you want my vote it was Jeremy. That fucker has had such a perfect life that he needs police men to visit him at work to question his ware abouts . lol.

Thus I have used the information super highway to ensure that I will not be the victim of murder. (Jeremy’s life is so perfect that police would never visit him at work , meaning I cant be killed), meaning that this blog like the millions of others out there will never be read. So if you’re reading this you don’t exist.

Talking to people that don’t exist is a sign of insanity. So blogers are crazy.
So the millions of blog pages out there is proof that the planet has lost its mind.

questions

Questions

When I was a salesman I learned that to make a sale don’t tell people anything, just ask them questions.
Currently I am a collection agent. Think of this if you ever have the misfortune of having one call you.
A before morning coffee brake day in the life of a collection agent.

So I look at the normal people I see at work every day, and despite the fact that I kind of want to speak with them, the embarrassment I feel when people realize I'm odd, leads me to quietly stand off by my self. Today for some reason my mind decided to ask me questions.
Not simple easy ones like why am I hear but the harder ones.
It started when I left my desk to take my “fuck is my job boring” morning shit. Not to be confused with my “fuck is my job boring afternoon shit” where I rarely actually shit.
There I am jettisoning out the by products of what I spend my so called pay check on, and my mind, obviously trying to save me from the certain death that it is convinced that boredom will cause, asks me…
“Why do you believe,” which is the rudest way to start a question, “that people will think your odd?”
Well if you know me, I like to fight fire with fire. The blaze excites me.
So I respond with questions of my own.
‘Is it maybe that every one of my friends who I do show my self to says “hay your weird”? Even after I learned that showing my self doesn’t mean that I have to get naked or expose my genitals in any way!
“Why do you believe your friends?’
“Aren’t your friends weird?”
‘Isn’t that why they accept me?’I retort.
“If your friends are weird and they say you’re weird, couldn’t that mean that you’re a bit normal?”

The interrogation is interrupted as it takes both parts of my mind to curse who ever the cheep ass muther fucker who designed the little piece of metal that makes the toilet paper not roll smoothly in all public toilets, the one that is so hugely flawed that it makes it almost impossible to get more than 2 sheets off the roll at a time and completely improbable that what should be the simple task of cleaning the excess crapp from your ass, will be simply and effectively done in a time efficient matter.

It doesn’t cross my mind to ask why I’m worried about time efficiency while my bathroom brake is by design a time waster in the first place.

I return to my desk. I use a telephone for what I jokingly call a living. I have a tendency to remember in my short term memory numbers in an order I like, not so much the order they actually appear. i.e. I like 32 but dislike 23. As I look from my computer screen to the phone pad making sure that the number I dialed and the number that the computer suggested are the same digits in the same order, , the part of my brain that can attack me is consumed by tedium and unable to continue in its assault. But it’s not an all consuming task so I'm left with the sound of my mind droning on the words to a song most of us know. You know it its tat song that goes …”Fuck is my job boring Fuck is my job boring fuck is this boring fuck is this boring….. I won’t sing any more for you as I’m certain that you know it by hart. And if you don’t I don’t want to be the one to introduce it to your infuriatingly perfect life, Jeremy.

My eyes look to the display on the phone to check digits but my hand has already hung up the phone and….A RAY OF LIGHT PIRCES THROUGH!
Its only 3 minuet till brake! The ‘fuck’ song is replaced by “YAY it’s almost recess.
As I tidy up my desk top to avoid being on a call and missing any part of coffee brake, my mind resumes its desperate war on me enjoying or even dully accepting my existence.
“How old are you?”
“Thanx for bringing that up, ass hole”
“And your waiting for recess?, “
Others are stirring it must be time!
I grab my coat and commiserate with the others about how long the elevator takes.
At last I'm out side. My 15 min’s. of …. The sky’s ugly today, I can’t stare at it and day dream.
People flood out of the doors and an explosion of small talk erupts, filling the air.
I dig out a cigarette, and light it.
My urge to befriend and my fear of ridicule slam me at the same time.
And what I can only assume is an attempt to free me from the terrible war that will soon ensue, my mind asks….
“How soon will it snow?”
I notice that there isn’t a stick of wood in this alley to knock on, so I attempt to believe I didn’t ask my self that. I also realize that to deal with this I need to think of stronger questions. This isn’t going to be an easy battle to win.
“Think of a question” I tell my self. For half of a partial moment I remember the Dr. Seuss book, ‘how to unthunk a glunk’ but it’s gone before I can contemplate that little appearance. Yes it seems my mind has stolen most of my ammo and has at the moment taken control of most of my free will.
“And isn’t free will the reason to live?”
In a moment of self mental jujitsu grasp at the question. Its safe and its small level of disassociation from my self lets me wash away in the new flood of questions.
“How could the catholic church take such a truth and bog it down in rules?”
“If it is the reason to live, dose that mean that life is just an exercise in what you will your self to do?”
“If so then isn’t the real question of existence why not just do it?”
“How could Nike take such a fact and make it a slogan for slave labor?”
And the real big question;
“How long will it be until I find another job?”

paradigm shifting

So I don’t like to get stoned, especially in cities. Years ago I started having bad trips about how every thing is a box. Box houses Box blocks. Nothing quiet like an obsessive revolution (is that a term?) to ruin a good trip.
So I quit getting stoned. No big deal (any more lol). And like most of life it slips in to that not quiet forgotten realm of ‘I never think of it’. In fact at the point of the next incident it was all but forgotten.

My grand parents 50th anniversary I met my moms uncle. (There is a term for that but I can’t figure it out) it seems he left the civilized world to live in the artic with the dog tribe, or some thing. Now I’ve always had itchy feet so I had to ask why. So he told me he hated how every thing is divided up into squares, lined with fences. He hates fences. I think its some kind of obsessive revolution.

Last night I found a program called “World Wind”. Its sooooooooo cool. It’s from NASA and it basically is satellite pictures of the world. I can even see my home from space. So after wasting hours, And I mean hours, I started noticing the oddest thing. The world is cut up in to squares. Like the whole freekin planet. Zoom in on any part of the planet and its cut in to lines and boxes. The only 2 places that weren’t were the artic and Antarctica. And I don’t mean lines like country borders and stuff, no it’s actually cut into squares.
So anyway I tuned off my ‘puter and went for a walk. Down square streets.

I now believe that the reason that I would have an obsessive revolution to boxes and my uncle (or moms uncle, what ever) has this aversion to lines is its so constricting.
In fact I don’t believe it’s a paranoia but a claustrophobia. We do not live free, not yet.
Democracy is a less controlled state of being, than most other government systems. But make no mistake, less controlled is not free.

To live free. Is the statement of the revolution.
De civilize your self
My slightly depressed mood of my last post is now gone.
The question remains; “Why is it called self control, when you are preventing self from doing what self wishes?”

So my recant realization has given me more faith that the time has come for change. If the whole fucking planet has been divvied up and ownership of the land has cut the most remote places in to boxes. Then the systems of control must be close to its apex. Ipso-facto the time has arrived for a new paradigm to stand.
p.s. I always wanted to put ipso-facto in to one of my rants. YAY ME LOL.

now and puplic masterbaton

A young Lady got out of nursing school and got herself a job at the psychiatric hospital in Ponoca. Now she was a caring person which is one of the reasons that she had chosen a career in nursing. Her first couple of days they took the time to show her around, and teach her the operating procedures. One such procedure was how to properly strap a patient to the bed.

Obviously being a caring person, this bothered her a bit. When she questioned the humaneness of this she was told that it was only used as a last resort.
"You see we prefer to use chemical restraints (i.e. drugs) whenever possible, shackling a patient to the bed is only used on patients that cant be controlled chemically"

Now the young lady was raised to be a farley obedient (if not submissive) person and went about her duties like a good girl even though there was a little nagging voice in her head repeating "somethings wrong with this". After all she was just a young girl newly out of school, what did she know about the world? How could all of these "respected" doctors be wrong?

So she went about her days administering drugs and only very rarely assisting in shackling a patient down.

One morning after the patients had been let out of there rooms, drugged, fed and led in to the common room one woman who was laying on a sofa, lifted up her dress and started to masturbate.
Now the young lady had been raised in a prudish religion, and seeing such a public "naughtiness" was more than a little shaken.
The little nagging voice in her head turned up the volume. "Why would she do that in public?" the young lady asked her self. The large key ring hanging around her waist suddenly gained weight to answer the young ladies inquiry; 'of course she dose it in public she is locked out off her room or any other privet place.'

The woman on the sofa was of course shackled to a bed and administered more chemical restraints.

NOW it has been said that this lady had been raised prudish and obedient, as well as she was young and caring, But that is not to imply that she was stupid. For she was any thing but stupid.

The nagging voice in her head had now become an audible ringing in her ears. She was realizing that the biggest difference between the staff and inmates was the possession of the keys.

-->Cognitive dissonance is a psychological phenomenon which refers to the discomfort felt at a discrepancy between what you already know or believe, and new information or interpretation

Whose sane...
The young lady quit her job.
"Why say Now so much Scotty?"span>
"What dose this have to do with a blog about what you think anyway Scotty?"
Now was used for literary effect.
Chemical restraint!!!
As I sit at my computer sipping my rum and cola (I no longer by brand name pop) thinking about the systems that control our lives. Thinking about how the world has become a capitalist despotism. Wondering how we allowed the belief that one person can control others to be accepted as fact. How damn it is it that we all believe we are powerless to govern are own affaires as we see fit.
The true story above keeps seeping in to my mind.
shackles for those they cant chemically restrain.

TV numbs the mind and tells us lies about how everyone else lives. IÂ’m not like those I see on TV so I must be different, not normal. Makes me feel insecure. I need booze to loosen up and have fun with others.
I medicate my self.
Cognitive dissonance --
But I'm not a sheep I think free I'm the leading edge of the Revolution-- I do nothing but bitch about a corrupt system under my 10 ft. ceilings and track lighting, Serving drinks to my pot head friends who say they cant stay late because they have to be at work in the morning.

My mind is disconnected from my personality now. I feel like I'm a funny person, must be some one is laughing at my quips.
medicated and separated my mind is hearing sentences from the would be revolutionaries.
-the price of gas-
-my boss is an ass-
-why don't my taxes feed the poor-
-were outa pop, who's going to the store-
-while your there ,pick up some croutons-
these are the sounds of a dead revolution

I see now that in order to open the minds of people I must MASTERBATE in public. And risk being shackled. After all I still have keys!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Baby has lost waight and is looking and feeling like a young dog again