what i thought was an innocent way of attempting to reach out to my friends and family, apparently was hurting some peoples feelings. so no more all about me letters. ill just go back to screaming at my walls. they don't hear nor respond. but at least i don't feel like shit for trampling on people's feelings. if you want superficial always ok conversations about safe topics. get them from some ware else. i'm already lonely enough, i don't need to compound it.
by discussing topics we don't care about, and ensuring that every thing we say is safe and sanitized. in short, by not expressing who we really are, we exasperate the alone feelings and ensure that we will no longer grow closer.
so i will post my feelings and rants here on my blog, your not reading it any way so it cant hurt you.
i can't make people live engaged relationships. but i can sure as hell refuse to be part of the fluff bullshit fake ones you wish to impose on me.

the conversation IS the relationship.