I used to be a ML (Marxist/Leninist), but I've evolved a bit.
Back then when people would call me a "tankie" it didn't bother me. I saw it as an immature way to deal with the fact that we can't Hippie our way out of capitalism.
Being called an anarkiddie by some of my fellow ML's, was one of the things that signaled to me that a change was happening in me.
To the average communist the end goal is an anarchist society. But ML's are so ingrained with the idea of class violence. Seeing only violence , they also only see violence in their solutions.
And sure a benevolent communist dictatorship is "better" than a malevolent Capitalist system. It's still only changing one type of dominance for another.
To the ML mind, focusing on helping the people who live on your own block, with mutual aid networks and the like, seems too small to challenge the power of a capitalist state. In that view you're playing and will collapse as soon as the capitalists apply pressure.
It's that feeling that cusses many to use the "kiddies" moniker.
The "tankie" mind doesn't see that the slow strengthening of small communities is the only thing that develops something that can withstand the force of a dominance system.
If we have strong communities we don't need a dictatorship to follow capitalism.
All of that is to say, if someone calls your ideology childish, stop talking about the labels and start looking towards solutions to actual problems. We're all leftist here, we all want a better world. The various Anarcho's are taking action in this time and place. While most of the other leftists groups are navel gazing, or purity testing each other.
The joke about leftists infighting signals to us one of the biggest problems we have to solve before we can develop a truly better system.
We need to focus on conflict resolution. There will always be conflicting opinions, there will always be those who want to be in control of others. If your ultimate solutions are to either convince them or put them to the wall, you'll never have a just system. (Scheduled democratic elections was thought to be a solution to this problem, until it became just another system to exploit).
As long as our ideas of a post-cap society contain "agree, leave, or die" at it's core it'll again converge on fascism.
Instead we need to study, learn, teach, and live, real conflict resolution.
And that means we have to throw out ideas of someone being the "outside other", and it means throwing out the phrase "agree to disagree".
It's almost commical how Marxists are so obsessed with Hegelian Dialectics. (Being 'thesis, antithesis, and synthesis' as the method to analyze situations.) But they completely forget about the synthesis step when it comes to interpersonal and group relationships.
It's that step we need to grow. How do we keep people with seriously different ideologies as members of the community?
IMHO, it starts with us refusing to take the bait, and when called "anarkiddie" we should instead turn and focus on what skills each of us have and how we can use them together to change the actual material conditions.
From this perspective even the obsession with reading theory can help us. Maybe the academic Marxist, doesn't have much to offer the front lines of helping others at this exact moment. That doesn't mean their theory investigations aren't going to bear fruit for all of us later on.
Leftist infighting will always exist.And I can see 2 clear ways forward. The first is we let it drive division, fracturing us and leaving us as less of a threat. The second is we use it to hone our resolution skills, and through those we present a true option against the hierarchical governance systems that have dominated our history.
Capitalisms greatest strength is it's ability to co-opt it's barriers and opponents. Turning them to instead reinforce the system. Maybe it's time we use some guerilla tactics and steal that process to use against it.
Instead of conflict being an undesirable part of life. Let's accept it and make it an active and desirable tool towards advancing all of us.
