Parents please teach your children this.
I’ve spent the last few days across social media and I have to keep
reiterating versions of this. Its saddening.
Look, you don’t “get someone to like you”. There are 4 or things to
know to have a happy dating life:
1) Get hobbies and interests.
Like more than one, and at least a few that have to do with going to
places other people are. Look its OK to be into fashion and enjoy
consuming media. But that cant be your main focus. If your on a date
and don’t have other interests to talk about, don’t be so
surprised that the only people who want to go on a second date are
the ones who will treat you like an object. Put down the Fashion Mag
and literally pick any other magazine off the shelf. You may never
learn how to perfectly wear (latest fashion item). But you will read
about something to make you an interesting person.
If you often find yourself Bored, then you may be a boring person.
Cultivate more interests.
Your boy-friend or girl-friend should be your friend. Now pop culture
has done a number on girls. If you are to believe movies and TV
shows, girls are interested in talking about Fashion, and boys. What
is she then going to talk about with her boyfriend. If however she
meets someone at an archery range, they have things to talk about.
2) Learn how to be wrong.
Now that you have started having all these hobbies and interests, you
are probably developing opinions. You are wrong on some of them.
Everyone has incorrect opinions sometimes. Learn how to decide what
types of information will sway your opinion. Learn to accept being
wrong, and to accept others being wrong. And NO saying “we’ll
just agree to disagree” doesn’t count. Thats basically saying my
mind is closed to the possibility I’m wrong, and I am not smart
enough to find a way to explain it to you. That is not to say you
have to fight every battle. You can for instance decide, I think your
wrong on how to hang the toilet paper but don’t care enough about
the issue to discuss it.
3) Own your word
How do you keep from looking wisshy-washy now that you’ve accepted
that you can be wrong and are able to change your mind? By owning
your word in every other way. Make a habit of not making promises.
Because when you make a promise, you keep it. If you promise to wash
someones car, and Christ returns, You have to tell Christ to put
judgment day on hold, because you have things to do. If you promise
to be at your nieces birthday, and 3 people call in sick to work, you
have to tell your boss your going, even if that means loosing your
job. Be the kind of person that will not break a promise ever, and
therefore only promises very few things. Owning your word also means
not lying. Don’t insinuate or imply what you don’t mean. Talk
flatly and openly the truth. I know your Dog or Cat, knows when your
sad, but the only real way humans can share the emotions and ideas
the have inside is with words. If you think people are believing your
lies, you won’t believe they understand you when you need them.
4) Take care of yourself.
Dress for the body you have, not the one you are working towards. You
don’t have to look like a model. (Even the models I know, don’t
look like “that” when going to the lake to hang out.) But you
want to take care of yourself. We all have differing bodies, and
that's OK. You just need to be clean and look like you care about
yourself. The way you look signals others how to treat you, so make
an effort to look presentable. You don’t need to be “dolled up”
just to go hang out, but take the time to be clean and groomed.
Taking a little time each day to take care of your body also help you
feel good about yourself.
Place a premium on yourself, by holding yourself to a standard of at
least 10% higher than everyone else.
5) Love your life.
You are, interesting, adaptable, honourable, and healthy. Its OK to
be happy. Happy people attract others. When you see someone loving
their live its a huge turn on. So love your life. Take the time and
effort to work on problems that may arise, and plan for your future.
This is your life and you are the only one who is ever going to be in
control of it. So love it.
Will this all prevent you from ever having your heart broke? No, of
course not. Will all the people you attract be worthy of you and be
as honourable as you? No. But you will be in the drivers seat of your
life. You will have people wanting to be near you and date you. And
as a bonus all the time that others spend feeling bad about
themselves trying to “get” this person, or attract that one, you
have spent learning and trying new things, and keeping yourself
interested.
It wont always be simple, but with every choice, you try and do what
you would respect the most if someone else had to make the same
choice. This way you become the kind of person you would respect, and
that will attract the kind of people you would want to be with.
1 comment:
These also have relevance in having a happy married life.
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