I dont understand Transgender

Ok I may be on the wrong side of history here. And am open to evolving my opinion if someone explains to me the error in my thinking.

It was only Like 2 years ago that “progressives” were touting the ideas that we should not force Gender Roles on children. “Let them play how they want to.” was the basic idea. It stemmed form the idea that as we move to actual equality between the sexes, little boys and girls, should be allowed to peruse whatever interested them. If little boys enjoy nurturing games with dolls, and little girls like construction games with Tonka Trucks, So be it. It didn't mean they were gay or “different”.

Over all Gender Equality seems to be a march toward a non-gendered society. Women CEO’s and Stay at Home Dads, should not be noteworthy, but should be just as common place. I remember thinking that Maxim Magazine was just Vogue for men, and a step toward non-gendered society.

So I am absolutely blown away by the surge in transgender issues. Why are we even discussing transgender? Or Any gender? Why do we want to enforce gender roles? Dude in a dress, Girl in work boots? Who cares? Wear and do what makes you happy.

Now I want to be clear here. I am in no way talking about transsexuals. Just transgender. (Transsexual is basically a person who feels the Sex of their body is misaligned with themselves. Transgender on the other hand is the feeling that their Gender is misaligned) *I am aware these are over simplified definitions, and also intend no value judgment on the term misaligned.

Terms like Gender Fluid are being thrown around now. I can relate to some of the ideas covered under that banner. There was a stir recently about a couple that wear cloths out of the others closet and being on the cover a magazine. That to me seems legit. The couple seems to have an understanding of who they are. They seem to be saying “the clothes don’t make the man”, or woman as the case may be. To me the term "Gender Fluid" is a half way of going to Non-Gendered, but scared to give anything up.

It seems to me that the discussion of transgender has eclipsed the discussion of gender roles. Now I’m not against treating people with respect, and giving equal rights to anyone. I’m just not seeing on how enforcing Gender Roles, is progress.

There was a time that the societal gender roles stated that women could be nurses, and men could be doctors. As women went through med school and men started taking nursing jobs, The ideas we were promoting was that it didn’t matter if you held the Stethoscope or the Thermometer, your social role was defined by what you choose to do, not your sex. So why now are we trying to say that your choice to wear a dress or makeup should be a relevant societal decider?

Anyway, We went from Sexual equality, to the erosion of Gender roles, and I don’t understand why we now need to fight for the right to assert those gender roles. Should not Trans-gender men just be viewed as a logical step in the feminist fight for equality?

The whole point of this post is, I don’t understand whats happening, not to “push back” against a movement. I am someone who would prefer a non-gendered society. I can assert that I don’t care what gender signalling items and activities any person wants to take part in. I don’t care if those signalling items match the gender role society has typically assigned to your sex.

I do however Care if you are being discriminated against. Is not transgender discrimination, simply sexism? A person of the other sex would not be discriminated against in the same situation, so the basis of the discrimination is entirely sex based. I thought we had already decided that your dangley bits are to be irrelevant to your role in society.

If you have the time, Please let me know if I have something wrong. Or if there is a way we can get back to the idea of equality for ALL.

Thanks  

Here are 5 things to know to have a happy dating life

Parents please teach your children this.

I’ve spent the last few days across social media and I have to keep reiterating versions of this. Its saddening.

Look, you don’t “get someone to like you”. There are 4 or things to know to have a happy dating life:

1) Get hobbies and interests.

Like more than one, and at least a few that have to do with going to places other people are. Look its OK to be into fashion and enjoy consuming media. But that cant be your main focus. If your on a date and don’t have other interests to talk about, don’t be so surprised that the only people who want to go on a second date are the ones who will treat you like an object. Put down the Fashion Mag and literally pick any other magazine off the shelf. You may never learn how to perfectly wear (latest fashion item). But you will read about something to make you an interesting person.

If you often find yourself Bored, then you may be a boring person. Cultivate more interests.

Your boy-friend or girl-friend should be your friend. Now pop culture has done a number on girls. If you are to believe movies and TV shows, girls are interested in talking about Fashion, and boys. What is she then going to talk about with her boyfriend. If however she meets someone at an archery range, they have things to talk about.

2) Learn how to be wrong.

Now that you have started having all these hobbies and interests, you are probably developing opinions. You are wrong on some of them. Everyone has incorrect opinions sometimes. Learn how to decide what types of information will sway your opinion. Learn to accept being wrong, and to accept others being wrong. And NO saying “we’ll just agree to disagree” doesn’t count. Thats basically saying my mind is closed to the possibility I’m wrong, and I am not smart enough to find a way to explain it to you. That is not to say you have to fight every battle. You can for instance decide, I think your wrong on how to hang the toilet paper but don’t care enough about the issue to discuss it.

3) Own your word

How do you keep from looking wisshy-washy now that you’ve accepted that you can be wrong and are able to change your mind? By owning your word in every other way. Make a habit of not making promises. Because when you make a promise, you keep it. If you promise to wash someones car, and Christ returns, You have to tell Christ to put judgment day on hold, because you have things to do. If you promise to be at your nieces birthday, and 3 people call in sick to work, you have to tell your boss your going, even if that means loosing your job. Be the kind of person that will not break a promise ever, and therefore only promises very few things. Owning your word also means not lying. Don’t insinuate or imply what you don’t mean. Talk flatly and openly the truth. I know your Dog or Cat, knows when your sad, but the only real way humans can share the emotions and ideas the have inside is with words. If you think people are believing your lies, you won’t believe they understand you when you need them.

4) Take care of yourself.

Dress for the body you have, not the one you are working towards. You don’t have to look like a model. (Even the models I know, don’t look like “that” when going to the lake to hang out.) But you want to take care of yourself. We all have differing bodies, and that's OK. You just need to be clean and look like you care about yourself. The way you look signals others how to treat you, so make an effort to look presentable. You don’t need to be “dolled up” just to go hang out, but take the time to be clean and groomed. Taking a little time each day to take care of your body also help you feel good about yourself.

Place a premium on yourself, by holding yourself to a standard of at least 10% higher than everyone else.

5) Love your life.

You are, interesting, adaptable, honourable, and healthy. Its OK to be happy. Happy people attract others. When you see someone loving their live its a huge turn on. So love your life. Take the time and effort to work on problems that may arise, and plan for your future. This is your life and you are the only one who is ever going to be in control of it. So love it.

Will this all prevent you from ever having your heart broke? No, of course not. Will all the people you attract be worthy of you and be as honourable as you? No. But you will be in the drivers seat of your life. You will have people wanting to be near you and date you. And as a bonus all the time that others spend feeling bad about themselves trying to “get” this person, or attract that one, you have spent learning and trying new things, and keeping yourself interested.

It wont always be simple, but with every choice, you try and do what you would respect the most if someone else had to make the same choice. This way you become the kind of person you would respect, and that will attract the kind of people you would want to be with.