Brillo Bombs

a little self loathing in my self love. think of it as masturbating with Brillo. this trying to be like others bull shit is wearing me down. it takes a lot of energy to try and second guess myself, try to give a shit what others are thinking or feeling at all moments. after all how am i supposed to reconcile the notion of "be yourself and dont care if others judge you" with the notion that i have to "think first about how others will feel"? feelings and thoughts are part and parcel of the same thing.

And you cant control others, not really anyway.

what i'm saying is i may be alone with my mind. (aren't we all?) But i feel that its not worth being like you to be with you. any of you, all of you.

You wont be like me, i understand. just understand the feelings mutual. and accepting that fact, i refuse to continue to pretend that we are the same, or want to be.

i'll entertain my self thanx.

blowing shit up makes me happy, if shrapnel doesn't please you, might i suggest you GET THE HELL AWAY FROM THE BLASTING CAPS!

a pulse drumming in my ears

this one time at band camp,...

i sacrificed a stray to the rock gods,

when the camp counsolers came in to my bloud staind cabin, one asked me what i was doing... so i tossed him the skull from inside the pentagram, he said i was sick, i asked why he was the one pukeing... it took years to convince the doctors that i didn't need need them to have a sound mind... My mind Is filled with sound!